A tour of the subcontinent leads quickly to talk of spinners. And this winter hasn't bucked the trend. Imagine for a moment that scorers recorded words spoken rather than balls faced. Strip out the non-cricket vocabulary and I'd bet that "spin" "spinner" and "spun" would be chart-toppers at the moment.
So, purely in the interests of linguistic fairness here's how to get spin-happy commentators talking about Chris Woakes this winter...
...................................
Mr Commentator: Can I talk a bit about spin bowling?
You: Well of course you can, that would be lovely. But I assume you won't limit it just to the side spinners and top spinners. I take it we'll be talking about about backspinners too.
Mr Commentator: Er....
You: I mean, all bowlers are spinners really aren't they?
Mr Commentator: Not sure I follow.
You: Well... you can't propel a sphere without spinning it. Try chucking an orange across the living room and you'll see what I mean.
In fact the only people I can think of who get anything like spinless flight are those deliberately eccentric baseball oddities - knuckleballers.
And even they are seen as as bit of a secret society frankly. I think it's something to do with all those years of practicing funny grips to try to perfect something which is impossible to control even when you do get it right.
Mr Commentator: Can we stop talking about baseball please?
You: Of course... Sorry about that. So, just as everyone ends up spinning the ball when they throw it, so all of our "seam" bowlers are in fact backspinners. Just look at them in slow motion and you'll see them rotating the ball backwards as it leaves their hand.
In fact backspin is crucial to a so-called "seam" bowlers craft. Without backspin along the axis of the seam it wouldn't hold its position and the nibble off the seam would be toothless. And as for swing bowling... without backspin we wouldn't even know it was possible. Want a shiny side and a rough side? You need to spin it. Backwards.
And just because a "wrist spinner" is getting 1200 revolutions per minute while a "medium pacer" is getting 300 rpm doesn't mean we can't call them both spinners.
Mr Commentator: Really?
You: Absolutely. The bowlers that we currently refer to as "seamers" are in fact high-speed, low-revolution backspinners while the bowlers we currently refer to as "spinners" are in fact low-speed, high-revolution topspinners and sidespinners.
Mr Commentator: Erm... interesting... Isn't there a difference though between a bowler who imparts spin in order to hold a ball steady and a bowler who imparts spin in order to generate deceptive movement?
You: Well that's the thing about backspin. It holds the seam steady not because the bowler wants a steady flight. It holds the seam steady because that generates a deceptive movement - either seaming off the pitch or swinging in the air. And that's without getting into the whole thing about backspin making the ball hover.
Mr Commentator: Excuse me?
You: That's the other thing about backspin. It delays the point of impact with the ground. Just look at tennis. All those backhand slice shots at Wimbledon floating up to the baseline. Looks like they're happening in slow motion doesn't it? Well that's all because of the Magnus Effect.
Mr Commentator: The Magnus what?
You: Basically, there's an upward motion lifting the ball as it spins. And effectively that's delaying the moment when the ball lands. So a ball with backspin in cricket (i.e. anything bowled by a so-called seam bowler) is going to land slightly ahead of where the batsmen would calculate judged simply on angle of release, speed of delivery and gravity. That's deception wouldn't you say?
Mr Commentator: How does the Magnus thing work again?
You: Hmmm... Well anyway the next time you see a batsman getting yorked maybe you should give a little more credit to the backspin and a little less to the speed.
Mr Commentator: Fine, whatever. Can we talk about spin bowling now?
You: Sorry. Out of time.
So, purely in the interests of linguistic fairness here's how to get spin-happy commentators talking about Chris Woakes this winter...
...................................
Mr Commentator: Can I talk a bit about spin bowling?
You: Well of course you can, that would be lovely. But I assume you won't limit it just to the side spinners and top spinners. I take it we'll be talking about about backspinners too.
Mr Commentator: Er....
You: I mean, all bowlers are spinners really aren't they?
Mr Commentator: Not sure I follow.
You: Well... you can't propel a sphere without spinning it. Try chucking an orange across the living room and you'll see what I mean.
In fact the only people I can think of who get anything like spinless flight are those deliberately eccentric baseball oddities - knuckleballers.
And even they are seen as as bit of a secret society frankly. I think it's something to do with all those years of practicing funny grips to try to perfect something which is impossible to control even when you do get it right.
Mr Commentator: Can we stop talking about baseball please?
You: Of course... Sorry about that. So, just as everyone ends up spinning the ball when they throw it, so all of our "seam" bowlers are in fact backspinners. Just look at them in slow motion and you'll see them rotating the ball backwards as it leaves their hand.
In fact backspin is crucial to a so-called "seam" bowlers craft. Without backspin along the axis of the seam it wouldn't hold its position and the nibble off the seam would be toothless. And as for swing bowling... without backspin we wouldn't even know it was possible. Want a shiny side and a rough side? You need to spin it. Backwards.
And just because a "wrist spinner" is getting 1200 revolutions per minute while a "medium pacer" is getting 300 rpm doesn't mean we can't call them both spinners.
Mr Commentator: Really?
You: Absolutely. The bowlers that we currently refer to as "seamers" are in fact high-speed, low-revolution backspinners while the bowlers we currently refer to as "spinners" are in fact low-speed, high-revolution topspinners and sidespinners.
Mr Commentator: Erm... interesting... Isn't there a difference though between a bowler who imparts spin in order to hold a ball steady and a bowler who imparts spin in order to generate deceptive movement?
You: Well that's the thing about backspin. It holds the seam steady not because the bowler wants a steady flight. It holds the seam steady because that generates a deceptive movement - either seaming off the pitch or swinging in the air. And that's without getting into the whole thing about backspin making the ball hover.
Mr Commentator: Excuse me?
You: That's the other thing about backspin. It delays the point of impact with the ground. Just look at tennis. All those backhand slice shots at Wimbledon floating up to the baseline. Looks like they're happening in slow motion doesn't it? Well that's all because of the Magnus Effect.
Mr Commentator: The Magnus what?
You: Basically, there's an upward motion lifting the ball as it spins. And effectively that's delaying the moment when the ball lands. So a ball with backspin in cricket (i.e. anything bowled by a so-called seam bowler) is going to land slightly ahead of where the batsmen would calculate judged simply on angle of release, speed of delivery and gravity. That's deception wouldn't you say?
Mr Commentator: How does the Magnus thing work again?
You: Hmmm... Well anyway the next time you see a batsman getting yorked maybe you should give a little more credit to the backspin and a little less to the speed.
Mr Commentator: Fine, whatever. Can we talk about spin bowling now?
You: Sorry. Out of time.
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